Fun Stuff We Found at Bass Pro

By Piper Bayard

On a recent whim, my family made the trek to the Bass Pro Shop. As always, my daughter DD and I had fun checking out all of the stuff and things. Here are a few of our favorites . . .

MyPhotos Xmas 2013 BBQ Sauces

Now that’s a tough choice.

MyPhotos Xmas DD with Machete

The perfect accessory for every young lady. Move over Machete!

MyPhotos Xmas Hideous Purse w:Cross

No wait . . . Maybe this is the perfect accessory.

MyPhotos Xmas Fish Finders

These are fish finders–in case your worm and expertise aren’t working. Take a look at the price tags. You’re not imagining things. They actually had fish finders that cost over $2k. I’m thinking you could buy a lot of fish for $2k.

MyPhotos Xmas Duck Dynasty Dog Biscuits

Guaranteed to make your dog happy, happy, happy!

MyPhotos Xmas DD Photobomb

Gotta have a DD photo bomb.

MyPhotos Xmas DD on kiddie ATV

Come on, DD. That’s for the three-year-olds.

What fun stuff have you found lately? Come by our Bayard & Holmes site and share in the comments. 

Bayard & Holmes

Fun Stuff We Found at Bass Pro

Parkour Right There

By Piper Bayard

Parkour rocks. Maybe because it’s magic to those of us with bad knees or fear of heights. Maybe it’s because the guys in the parkour movies are ripped and don’t wear their shirts too often. But it’s probably because it takes amazing athleticism.

Parkour, or l’art du deplacement, is the art of moving fluidly through the environment by vaulting, rolling, running, climbing, and jumping. It is often practiced in urban areas where there are plenty of buildings to jump between and railings and walls to jump over.

David Belle Parkour Eleazar Castillo wikimedia

David Belle

image by Eleazar Castillo, wikimedia

The founder of parkour is actor and choreographer David Belle. The son, grandson, and brother of rescuers in the French military fire service, he bases his art on the teachings of his father. His movies include District B13, B13—Ultimatum, and Prince of Persia.

Check out David Belle in this clip from District B13.

Of course, not everyone is a David Belle.

Though with time and hard work some few develop real skills.

Ronnie Shalvis and Devin Graham even combine parkour with a popular computer game. The joke in our house is that the animated figure in Assassin’s Creed walks like a runway model, and, of course, that his outfit makes him so anonymous on the streets. Ronnie doesn’t just wear the costume and jump over things. He studied the walk.

If you have a few minutes, the Behind the Scenes–Assassins Creed Meets Parkour is rather interesting. You’ll find it as an option at the end of this video.

So are you ready to go jump off your front porch? 

All the best to all of you for a week of easy landings.

Gabby’s Hair? What About Those Banana Shoes?

Gabby Douglas, first African-American winner of the Women’s Gymnastics All Around Gold, is confused. Frankly, I’m confused as well.

Gabby Douglas, image from wikimedia by Xxjenesaispasxx

When 16-yr-old Gabby googled herself a few hours after achieving the highest accomplishment in Olympic women’s gymnastics, she found that people weren’t only tweeting about her success, they were tweeting criticisms about her hair!

“Gabby Douglas, you made history w/your impeccable talent and hideous hair.” @BReeMonroe

“We, as a black community, gotta fix Gabby Douglas’s hair.” @Sarocious

“Congrats to Gabby Douglas on her gold metal! Wish I could say the same about that hair! OMG horrible!” @shestaken

Seriously! I never cease to be amazed at people and their priorities.

How can they possibly be criticizing little Gabby Douglas for her hair when there have been far more egregious fashion faux pas from every corner of the Olympic compound?

Take Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce. Who cares that she won a repeat gold in the women’s 100 meter dash when it’s overshadowed by the fact that her tag was sticking up out of her running shorts when she crossed the finish line?

Then there are the Women’s Beach Volleyball bikini bottoms. What difference does all that hustle and jump make when those ladies have more crack than the entire city of Detroit?

Hello? Men’s track stars? You’re really wearing those banana shoes?

And don’t even get me started on those horses in the equestrian events. Some of them made no effort to restrain their free-flowing tails, showing no respect for the fact that they were jumping more obstacles than average Americans do when collecting their own money from their medical flexible spending accounts.

Don’t these athletes realize that no matter what they do, the most important thing when they are on TV is their hair? Where is the Olympic Committee in all of these uniform travesties? Why aren’t they stopping these fashion fails?

Bottom line? This young lady traveled 20 hours from home to live with strangers so that she could train with a great coach. She left her family and friends to follow a dream at only fourteen. She not only went to school but worked what amounted to a full time job in preparing for this event. She could dye her hair purple, wear it in dreadlocks, or even shave her head and it wouldn’t detract one bit from how lovely she is.

I appreciated the sentiment of this “Pulp Fiction” spoof.

WARNING: EXCESSIVE, EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE, JUST LIKE THE ORIGINAL “PULP FICTION.”

What athletes are impressing you during this Olympic Games?

All the best to all of you for a week of knowing what’s important.

Piper Bayard—The Pale Writer of the Apocalypse