About Bayard & Holmes

Piper Bayard and Jay Holmes

Piper Bayard is an author and a recovering attorney with a college degree or two. She’s also a belly dancer from way back and a former hospice volunteer. She is currently the managing editor of Social In Worldwide, Inc., and pens post-apocalyptic sci-fi and spy novels when she isn’t shooting, baking cookies, or chauffeuring her children.

Jay Holmes is a veteran field intelligence operative with experience spanning from the Cold War fight against the Soviets, the East Germans, and the various terrorist organizations they sponsored to the present Global War on Terror. He is still an anonymous senior member of the intelligence community and unwilling to admit to much more than that. Piper is the public face of their partnership.

You may contact Bayard & Holmes in comments, on Twitter at @piperbayard, on Facebook at Bayard & Holmes, or at their email, BH@BayardandHolmes.com.

Bayard & Holmes are featured bloggers on Social In Worldwide, Inc.

How We Met – The Story We Like to Tell, by Piper:

In my youth, I had a friend whose uncle’s brother’s neighbor’s father owned a five star hotel in Bahrain. She didn’t actually know the man, but the uncle’s sister’s cousin’s friend assured me he was on the up and up, so I agreed to a three-week belly dancing engagement in the hotel’s club.

When I arrived, I saw the previous dancer coming from the hotel with several young bellhops behind her, laden down with fur coats, electronic devices, and multiple suitcases. I thought, “Wow. I’ve hit the big time.”

I put on my sharpest costume – the one with the green and gold beads and extra long fringe – and I danced my heart out that night to a full house. One particular man took a special interest in me that, truth be told, made me more than a little bit uncomfortable. Always listen to those instincts!

After the show, the hotel manager burst into my dressing room and ordered me to the oogler’s suite. I refused. That’s when he informed me that I was to be the house prostitute during my stay. The hotel personnel did not lay a hand on me, but they proceeded to rob me of my passport, visa, and money, saying they would only return them when I complied with their customers’ requests.

The next night, I danced my heart out once more, though with some trepidation as to what would happen at the end of the show. Would they return and beat me? Would they become impatient and force me? The same man was once more in the front row, and his glance made it clear that he intended to own me by the end of the evening.

I am not, however, an easy woman to own.

That night after my performance, I slipped into the ladies’ room and stood on the rim of the commode to reach the window. Lucky for me, it opened. Still in my costume and heels, I pulled myself through to the second floor roof. Crossing to the far side, I used an anchored pipe to lower myself to a balcony. The people inside were engaged in, well, let’s just say certain activities, and they didn’t notice me as I exited by way of their balcony stairs and over their garden wall.

Once on the street, there wasn’t a soul in sight. My first impulse was to distance myself from the hotel and find the American Embassy. But which way to go? I was completely lost, so I chose to go west. Because, hey–I’m an American. We go west.

Two blocks away, I found myself in a dark, narrow side street when a sports car turned onto the road, coming toward me. I jumped into the shadow of a doorway, not knowing what to do. The person in that car could have been anyone from a foreign dignitary to the lecherous oogler to a mobster.

Standing there in the middle of the night in my cabaret sequins with no identification or money in an Arab country, I knew I would have to be very lucky not to go from the frying pan into the fire. But I was lost, and I needed help. I had to take the chance. I stepped out of the shadows and waved down the car.

It screeched to a halt, and Holmes stepped out. I looked into his kind, soulful eyes and smiled. It was clear at once that I was with a friend.

Holmes went with me back to the hotel. What he did in that hotel office is anybody’s guess. I only know that five men walked in, and only one walked out. Holmes. With my passport, visa, and money.

He then escorted me to my room and guarded the door while I collected my things. On the way to the airport, I thanked him and asked him what brought him to Bahrain. He told me he was a power management specialist, there with his friends for a convention. As for me, I told him I was a dancer, but that one day, many years down the road, I would be an author . . .

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

The truth is that we are not at liberty to tell how we met, but we would love to hear your suggestions in the Comments for other BS stories we can tell about the Fateful Day.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Piper In Library 06

An Interview with Piper Bayard →

Author Magazine

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

© 2013 Piper Bayard. All content on this site is protected by copyright. If you would like to use any part of this, please contact us at BH@BayardandHolmes.com to request permission.

41 comments on “About Bayard & Holmes

  1. What’s the female version of ballsy? Ovarysy? Hmmmm. Anyway, Pale Writer, you is IT!!! Loving it and laughing along with you,
    J.

  2. Neal says:

    Please keep ’em coming. Thanks for the chuckles. Reminiscent of Lewis Grizzard at his best.

  3. Rea says:

    OMG, “where the only real law is natural selection”. A great line. I hope you don’t mind if I steal it. It is strange to want to write an entire story based on one plagerized line? Love your quick wit. I will be cruising more here very soon!

    • Piper Bayard says:

      I’m very flattered. Steal it with my blessing, and thanks for stopping by. Wish I had time for pancakes this morning.

      For my other readers, she is referring to a comment I made on her awesome blog at notsospanish.wordpress.com in which I said I grew up in a small American Southwest town where the only real law is natural selection. Drop by and visit her. It will brighten your day.

  4. educlaytion says:

    Without a doubt, this intro is one of the coolest in town. By coolest I mean you rock the mic like the Rid Bay Rapper. By town I mean the internet.

    • Piper Bayard says:

      Wow, Clay, I didn’t know I could still blush like this. Thank you. I must say, though, that I owe my bio to Kristen Lamb. She adopted me as her guinea pig from from the Writers Shelter last spring, and the first thing she did was clue me in to the fact that no one cares where I went to school. That’s when I came up with what you see here. Kristen is a marketing expert, as well as a writer, social media maven, and ruthless editor, and I highly recommend her book, We Are Not Alone: A Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Thanks, again, for the compliment, and thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  5. […] then there’s Piper Bayard. We also met at a writer’s conference (very good places to pick up writers!) She’s my […]

  6. […] Welcome famous blogger, Piper Bayard, to the blog today! Most of you writers in the blogosphere and on Twitter have come across the ever supportive Piper Bayard.  Many thanks to her for instilling community in the Twitterverse and via her blog with Holmes. […]

  7. Came over to your blog after seeing the link on Kristen Lamb’s blog. So glad she introduced me to your ramblings here.

  8. LOVE LOVE your blog! You made me an instant fan! Look forward to reading more in my spare time. 🙂

  9. […] supportive Piper Bayard.  Many thanks to her for instilling community in the Twitterverse and via her blog with Holmes. Piper Bayard – […]

  10. As one of my favorite bloggers, you’re invited to take part in my new contest: http://prawnandquartered.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/let-the-games-begin-our-best-contest-yet/
    May the odds be ever in your favor!

  11. Hey there, Piper! Just wanted to let you know that River will be facing off against Sherlock starting Friday for the Fictional Hunger Games semifinals. Feel free to write a bit for her cause. Good luck!

  12. ShruTroup says:

    Thank you for liking my post on my blog TroupinAround. I loved your intro section..so hilarious!! Can’t wait to read more stuff from you. Thanks!

  13. robakers says:

    Great Bio. I love it and hope you dont mind if I start to follow your blog. I have much to learn from your combination.

  14. Love the story. What a exciting pass and present you have. I can only suspect a future nothing short of spectacular.

  15. Jessica says:

    Your tagline is perfect.

  16. Jeff says:

    Thanks for following my blog! I’m always humbly honored when real writers follow me. 😀 I’ve purchased your book and really look forward to reading it!

    • Piper Bayard says:

      Thanks, Jeff. That makes my day. 🙂

      • Jeff says:

        I have finished Firelands and absolutely LOVED it!! I wrote a review on Goodreads.

        • Piper Bayard says:

          I saw that last night. Tried to find your Twitter handle to thank you and wasn’t able to locate it–but I’m a technomoron so it was probably pilot error. That was just awesome of you. I really appreciate the time you took to do that, and your kind comments letting me know you connected with the story are the best reward for my efforts. THANK YOU!!! 🙂

          • Jeff says:

            You’re very welcome, and yes, I did connect with it. My twitter is RedSoxTexan1967. 😀 You probably weren’t looking for something like that.

  17. Don Royster says:

    So you want we storytellers to comment on the real way B & H met. Seems that I had been assigned to watch the KGB agents who were watching Holmes. Sounds like a cliche but it was a dark and stormy night in the heart of the jungle of New York City. To get out of the rain, H ducked into a movie theater. Can’t remember the movie but I think it was a Bond. H had purchased a bag of popcorn and went into the theater. The two KGB boys purchased popcorn and slipped into the movie theater. I was broke. The ticket price had cost me an arm and a leg. So I didn’t get any popcorn. I sneaked into the dark theater. It was hard to keep my eyes on my victims. Bond was on screen, making his move. The KGB agents had taken their seats. But H moved down close to the front and he found your row two rows from the screen. As he made his way down the row, he came to your seat and tried to get by you. You were a brunette in those days. H dropped the whole bag of popcorn on you. He was stunned by the lovely woman in the seat. I remember he distinctly went to his seat and kept glancing over your way. I am not sure what happened after the movie. Before the lights came on, the KGB agents sneaked out. I didn’t want to lose them. But I am happy you too are together and creating wonderful stories. Keep it up. And, by the way, wonderful interview.

    • Piper Bayard says:

      Ah, yes. I remember that night well. The movie was Thunderball, and I can tell you what happened after the lights came up. We decided that the best chaser for popcorn was peanut M&Ms, so we went to the corner store and picked up a one pound bag. We walked around downtown for hours, popping M&Ms and laughing over the completely impossible diving sequences in the movie. And so our friendship began. After twenty years of loyalty and laughter, we decided we should write down some of the things we talk about. Thank you for distracting those KGB agents long enough for Holmes and I to “Bond.”

      So glad you enjoyed the interview. Thank you for the BS fodder. 🙂

  18. Don Royster says:

    Let me urge you to join WordPress’s campaign for internet neutrality. Thanks.
    http://en.blog.wordpress.com/2014/09/09/fight-for-net-neutrality/

  19. […] Travel? Five TSA-Approved Weapons of the Zombie Apocalypse’ (seriously, go check it out) and Piper Bayard’s review of the film The Equalizer, I thought I’d share my 3 tips for writing a great fight […]

  20. writegill says:

    What a story!
    You can certainly spin a yarn and keep your reader hooked, Piper, and I wish I could write under your editorship.

  21. caroleparkes says:

    I loved your ‘story’ of how you two met; it was very entertaining.

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