The End is Near (and we deserve it) . . . Sock Monkey Kama Sutra & FIRELANDS Apocalypse Challenge Winners

Sock Monkey Kama Sutra Brings New Meaning to “Monkey Business”

Sock Monkey Kama Sutra

Original title was “Curious George Gone Wild.”

Click on the title above the picture for the full story.

And now . . . The moment we’ve all been waiting for! The winners of the FIRELANDS Apocalypse Reader/Blogger Challenge!


First we have our Reader Winner . . . You will now have your very own, one-of-a-kind FIRELANDS Apocalypse Survival Kit, including a Swedish Fireknife so you can kill your post-apocalyptic squirrel, skin it, and start your fire to cook it. Along with it, you, Lucky Reader, will be taking home a can of Tactical Bacon, candy cigarettes and a chocolate bar for bartering with those post-apocalyptic traders, a handmade stuffed Grumpy Cat to keep you company, and a signed copy of FIRELANDS, all packed in an Eddie Bauer Ripstop Go Bag.

Thank you, DD, for being our Vanna tonight!

Thank you, DD, for being our Vanna tonight!

*drum roll please*

And the FIRELANDS Apocalypse Reader Winner is . . .

Bob Farkas!

Congratulations, Bob! *tosses confetti* When the Apocalypse comes, I’ll be looking for you, because I’ll know you’ll be prepared. Please contact me at (piperbayard at yahoo dot com) or on FB within two weeks to accept your prize. 🙂

Again, my heartfelt thanks to all of the wonderful readers for participating in this contest. You make every 4 a.m. idea that keeps me awake writing worth it!

SocialIn Logo

And now for our Lucky Blogger . . . You will be featured in a post at Social In Worldwide, Inc., a Twitter-driven news and events network that reaches over two million followers. Also, social media maven and best selling author Kristen Lamb has generously donated 50% off of any basic class she teaches at WANA Intl. But wait! There’s more! In addition, the Lucky Blogger will have a sidebar button at Bayard & Holmes for a month when we get our official website going this fall. . . . I know. You need some smelling salts at this point.

I’ve been so impressed with all of the entries. My deepest thanks to my fellow bloggers for making this contest such a fun success.  I hope all of our readers here at Bayard & Holmes will follow these wonderful, supportive, creative people.

Entries this week:

Jess Witkins of the Happiness Project teaches us the important use of Infomercials when surviving an apoclaypse. Surviving the Apocalypse . . . With Infomercials

MJ Wright explained something I never wrapped my head around, though it is crucial to FIRELANDS — not just the pronounciation of Taupo, the supervolcano in New Zealand–but also The [Fascinating] Science of the Inevitable Taupo Apocalypse.

Jenny Hansen explores the critical necessities in 10 Must-Have Undies in Your “Apocalypse Go-Bag.”

$50 Camo Lingerie from

$50 Camo Lingerie from

Previous entries:

Ryan Ryan (yes, that’s her name) at That Girl Ryan writes a Letter to the Mayans, complaining about their poor apocalypse prediction service, and how she had been looking forward to the hilarious benefits of the apocalypse. A Letter to the Mayans

Diana Beebe addresses a post-apocalyptic lifestyle by asking What Would You Do? Or Grow?

Shea McIntosh Ford looks at Surviving the Apocalypse — Henry Bemis Style. Would you kick ass, or would you be her reading buddy?

Ellie Ann gives you the opportunity to Choose Your Apocalypse. How do you want the world to end?

Catie Rhodes reviews FIRELANDS in Review Roundup: Youth is Wasted on the Young.

Angela Ackerman elevates FIRELANDS to the level of a prize at The Bookshelf Muse: Reality Check, Gratitude, and Cool Books to WIN. Pop on over and leave a comment for a chance to win one of three awesome books.

Julie Glover, a lady I count on the keep me grammatically honest, looks at Words for the End of the World.

The "Duchess" Corset A weapon against Victorian zombies image from wikimedia commons

The “Duchess” Corset
A weapon against Victorian zombies
image from wikimedia commons

How would you have fought off Victorian zombies? Historical mystery author K.B. Owen gives us some great ideas in Dangerous and Unseemly Zombies.

Peace in Relationship and Dystopia. KM Huber discusses the nature of relationship and gives her take on my debut dystopian thriller, FIRELANDS.

What would you write for your last blog post? Jules Davidoski has some hysterical ideas, along with a lively discussion over at her site. If This Were My Last Blog Post

Grab Your Tac Bag, Machete, and . . . Cat? by Sonia Medeiros. What sort of animal would you want with you in a post-apocalyptic world?

Writing Resources 20 June 2013 by Gene Lempp. Gene has the best mashups in the blogosphere. Thanks for the feature, Gene!

Smplefy has been a joy to me this week, tweeting as he reads FIRELANDS. It’s almost like getting to read over his shoulder and watch his reactions. Very cool! He’s got them compiled along with the bittersweet memories from his First Week of the Summer of 2013. 

*another drum roll please*

And the FIRELANDS Apocalypse Blogger Winner is . . .

MJ Wright!

Congratulations, MJ! I’ll be in touch with you soon, and we can arrange how best to showcase you for the masses over at Social In.

Holmes and I are working diligently with the awesome Laird Sapir and Jay Donovan (meaning they are doing all the work) at getting our new digs set up. We plan to move over to our new website,, around Labor Day. But don’t worry! You won’t miss a thing, because we’re taking you with us. We hope.

Moving Buried Under Boxes Canstock

In the meantime, postings here at Bayard & Holmes will be spotty as we travel, research, and focus on writing the second book in our upcoming spy thriller series, APEX PREDATOR. Look for our first baby, THE LEOPARD OF CAIRO, sometime this fall or winter from Stonehouse Ink.

All the best to all of you for making the best use of your socks.

Piper Bayard

24 comments on “The End is Near (and we deserve it) . . . Sock Monkey Kama Sutra & FIRELANDS Apocalypse Challenge Winners

  1. K.B. Owen says:

    Congrats to the winnners! What a cool contest, Piper. Looking forward to your new site in the fall!

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hello KB. I will be emailing you today. We dispatched Piper and her body guard to DC this morning. She’s going to try to slap some sense into the Obama foreign policy team. If regular federal employees are not allowed to do crack on the job why should elected officials be allowed to?

  2. Diana Beebe says:

    I may have interesting dreams about socks now. Not good dreams, mind you. 😀

    Congratulations to the winners!

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hi Diana. Since Piper is off on a critical mission at the moment I thank you on her behalf for your visit. On my own behalf (or would that be ” bewhole”?) I thank you for not further elaborating on your dreams. For a shockingly modest donation we can dispatch a Bayard&Holmes Dream Consultancy team to your home for assistance.

  3. Catie Rhodes says:

    I love sock monkeys. I keep saying I’m going to post pics of my monkey menagerie. So the Sock Monkey Kama Sutra made me laugh.

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hello Catie. If Piper were here she would ask you to remind your menagerie members to practice safe socks.

  4. I’m ordering that book TODAY! LOL The link didn’t work for me, but I found it on Amazon. Whew! 😉 The poor l’il book only has 1 review… The title and cover alone seem praiseworthy to me.

    Hope you’re having a brilliant Friday, Piper. Thanks for making mine happier! 🙂

    PS Congrats to the winners!

  5. Jess Witkins says:

    Congrats to the winners! Such a fun contest, Piper, I loved everyone’s posts! Quite the creative group!

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hi Jess. Have a great weekend. I’m in a particularly generous mood today so feel free to continue the “greatness” right on into your week. You may even share some with the person of your choice.

  6. Congrats, MJ and Bob! Woohoo! Now…to go read all the blog entries. *rubs hands in delight* 😀

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hi Sonia. Piper is gone to DC at the moment. If she is on schedule she is berating the State Department right about now. We have some photos of John Kerry in a compromising position with some sock monkeys so we are hoping to negotiate an improvement in our nation’s foreign policies.

      Thank you for your visit.

  7. Shea Ford says:

    Congrats to the winners!! 😀 And thank you, Piper, for having such a fun contest! Also, thanks for the shout outs, both today and last week. I meant to thank you last week, but got caught up finishing a first draft and forgot. lol

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hi Shea. If PIper were here she would say “your welcome”. Piper is gone so I offer a proxy “your welcome”. I hope you’re feeling adequately welcome now.

  8. Jenny Hansen says:

    What a fun contest. I love those blog entries!! Thanks for including mine. Is that camo nightie a thing of beauty or what? *snort*

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hi Jenny. As a general rule I avoid getting too intimate with anyone or anything in Camo, regardless of which particular Camo pattern they are attired in.

      I can only hope that for the sake of the Camo lingerie consumers that the Camo does not indicate Pentagon pricing.

  9. Jenny Hansen says:

    p.s. Everybody…Piper wrote a beautiful post on writer’s block over at Writers In The Storm today:

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Thank you Jenny. Given my lack of enthusiasm for “work”, things related to “work” and things with the suspicious appearance of “work” I’m always sincerely grateful for Piper’s workaholic tendencies. Hemingway is dead! Long live Piper Bayard!

  10. Cool! And thank you! 🙂

  11. tomwisk says:

    You know, of course, there’s a Kama Sutra app for Windows 8.

  12. […] Piper Bayard made her own Grumpy Cat for a blog giveaway. Read all about it here! […]

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