image from Back to the Future
Twenty-seven year old Ali Razeghi, managing director of Iran’s Center for Strategic Inventions, registered “The Aryayek Time Traveling Machine” with his agency. He claims it works up to eight years in the future. Now, if we can just get the Mullahs to use it, they’ll see the can of Whoopass they’re about to open up with their nuclear program.
Click below for the Wired article.
Iran’s New Fake Inventions: Time Machine, ‘Islamic Google Earth’
Blogs and Articles in No Particular Order
Best Selling Author and Bad Boy Cat Herder Les Edgerton wrote an outstanding series offering writing tips on dialogue over at Best Selling Author Kristen Lamb’s site. A Final Word from Les Edgerton–Fortune Favors the Prepared
Interesting info Queen Cleopatra by Colin Falconer at Write on the River. Was she really Liz Taylor’s doppleganger? CLEOPATRA, the Queen Who Would Be King
French President’s Gift Camel Killed and Eaten In Timbuktu. Mali gave a camel to French President Francois Hollande. Apparently, the Timbuktu family in charge of caring for the gift got hungry. But no worries. The people of Mali found a “bigger and better looking camel” to replace it.
Join Emily Cannell and check out her beautiful pictures of Cherry Blossom Season in Japan. My Corporate Failure and Cherry Blossoms
Cherry Blossoms by Emily Cannell
Have you got backup? Jenny Hansen has some great tips for never getting caught without your info. H is for “Help Me Computer, For I Have Sinned”
I don’t usually go for poetry, but this short piece of Smplefy’s hit the spot the other day. The Day Begins NOW
Several of my favorite people have new books out. Check out Patricia Sand’s post for the list. It’s Stacy’s Birthday Bash!
Seriously. How cool is this? Thank you to Laura Reiser Ellis for the link.
Campaign Style Poll Daddy Question of the Week
All the best to all of you for a week of living in the day.
Piper Bayard–The Pale Writer of the Apocalypse
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Piper Bayard 
Anyone else wonder if this is what the time machine looks like? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3LHAlcrTRA
Hi Jae. Good call. I think all our viewers should check out that video to further their scientific education.
I love your Friday posts!!! Thanks for mentioning my backup post. 🙂
And now I have four tabs open, you evil people…
Hi Jenny. Glad you enjoyed it.
🙂
Good laugh, Piper.
What really tipped me off that the time machine might not be all it was cracked up to be was the fact that it came with a warranty. I mean, why with a warranty? Surely they can see whether its going to break down?
And that dance trick is just awesome. Sadly the daddy-daughter dance at my girl’s events aren’t quite as creative…
Cheers!
Hi Nigel, Fortunately they bought the circuit boards from China.
It’s interesting that the time machine works for future predictions. At least they can’t do any damage to the past, right? I think this guy wants to be the next Nostradamus for predicting what’s to come. I feel a time-traveling post coming on (the thing in my computer bag predicted it). Don’t tell anyone that I have a prototype or pirates might try to copy it. I’ll be sure not to leave it in a restaurant where anyone might stumble upon it and leak the information to the media.
The dance video was great–so creative!
Hi Diana. Remember to have journalists follow the FBI to the restaurant for the big investigation.
I could use one of those time machines…If I control time, I don’t need money.
Hi Dave I’d settle for money in the mean time.
Don’t be to hastey in condemnation of time machines. I have invented a very unique one that can be tested by anyone who wishes. It does not take you forward or backward. It only moves sidewards in time. It works so well that you do not even realized you have been over there and back.
Hi Waldo. I’ve notified DHS of your intention to sell classified technology. Nappy is sending a hit crew to your house as you read this. I suggest that you get your affairs in order or simply back up and un-post your offer to sell classified technology.
I plead innocent due to the fact that my inventions and I have no class.
I would think they would have it designed to only go backward so they can make sure that Islamic Law is enforced. Personally I don’t want to know the future, I like surprises.
They already had THAT time machine. it’s called the “Islamic revolution”.
The problem with time machines is that, because the Earth moves, you always end up stranded in deep space. What I want is a machine that travels through space as well. Actually through “time and relative dimensions in space”. I even know – er – who has one.
That’s not a “problem” Matthew. As long as the mulalalalas and their thugs are the ones using the machine it’s what we call an “added value feature.”
I saw that article about the time machine…or I actually saw the time machine…or I saw some mullah guy was looking for his lost time machine…or the payday loan guy was looking to repo the time machine before that guy bought another time machine and it got confusing. Time machines do that. Get things confused.
Glad I had time to read this post – thanks for the great links!
Hi Philosopher. Please don’t encourage them. Their state of confusion is already highly advanced.
Timely response.
A time machine. The mullahs are slipping crack in to the science cafeteria water to speed up the nuclear experiments apparently and things are going awry. Hilarious.
So glad y’all liked the pics! Cherry blossoms create such a montage….
Hi Emily. Your jest is not as far from reality as you might assume. Heroin use has grown at an alarming rate in Iran in the last five years. the Iranian government allowed the taliban heroin export across their border in an attempt to control the transshipping to enemies. What occurred instead was a rapidly growing domestic market.
The time machine works. I have seen it.
You must be wearing a burkha to drive it, though. If even a millimeter of your skin is showing, the time machine will explode, killing you and your future generations.
It allows you to travel into the future, but since you have a burkha covering every inch of your skin, you can’t see anything. But other than that, it works fine.
Why do you people always doubt some random dude on the internet who claims to have invented a time machine? Random dudes on the Internets sometimes tell the truth, you know?
Hi Shantnu. Well as an official “random internet dude” I have to accept your theory.
Thank you sir.
And now I must go help North Korea test a Faster Than Light spaceship (it doesn’t travel faster than light. That’s just the name of the company).
[…] I saw this post by Piper Bayard, I almost fell out of my chair laughing. Fridays, the end is near, and, yes, we always deserve […]
I have a way for him to time travel — he could stare at the sun. He’ll always be looking 8 minutes into the past! …and born his corneas, but hey at least it’s more effective than his contraption 😛
As to the “time machine” (which indeed does sound like a crystal ball to me), I want to know why it peters out after year 8. What if year 9 is the one they really need to know about? Say, for instance, it being the year the world finally converges on the crazies in Iran, takes over the country, and makes every single lunatic leader perform that black-and-white dance.
Funny video about the time machine. I think the Chinese knockoff is a riot, and I love your comment about opening a can of whoop ass. That video of the optical illusion dance is awesome!