The End is Near (and we deserve it) . . . Iranian Scientist Invents Time Machine

image from Back to the Future

image from Back to the Future

Twenty-seven year old Ali Razeghi, managing director of Iran’s Center for Strategic Inventions, registered “The Aryayek Time Traveling Machine” with his agency. He claims it works up to eight years in the future. Now, if we can just get the Mullahs to use it, they’ll see the can of Whoopass they’re about to open up with their nuclear program.

Click below for the Wired article.

Iran’s New Fake Inventions: Time Machine, ‘Islamic Google Earth’

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Join Emily Cannell and check out her beautiful pictures of Cherry Blossom Season in Japan. My Corporate Failure and Cherry Blossoms

Cherry Blossoms by Emily Cannell

Cherry Blossoms by Emily Cannell

Have you got backup? Jenny Hansen has some great tips for never getting caught without your info. H is for “Help Me Computer, For I Have Sinned”

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Seriously. How cool is this? Thank you to Laura Reiser Ellis for the link.

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All the best to all of you for a week of living in the day.

Piper Bayard–The Pale Writer of the Apocalypse

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30 comments on “The End is Near (and we deserve it) . . . Iranian Scientist Invents Time Machine

  1. Jae says:

    Anyone else wonder if this is what the time machine looks like?

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hi Jae. Good call. I think all our viewers should check out that video to further their scientific education.

  2. Jenny Hansen says:

    I love your Friday posts!!! Thanks for mentioning my backup post. 🙂

    And now I have four tabs open, you evil people…

  3. Good laugh, Piper.

    What really tipped me off that the time machine might not be all it was cracked up to be was the fact that it came with a warranty. I mean, why with a warranty? Surely they can see whether its going to break down?

    And that dance trick is just awesome. Sadly the daddy-daughter dance at my girl’s events aren’t quite as creative…


  4. Diana Beebe says:

    It’s interesting that the time machine works for future predictions. At least they can’t do any damage to the past, right? I think this guy wants to be the next Nostradamus for predicting what’s to come. I feel a time-traveling post coming on (the thing in my computer bag predicted it). Don’t tell anyone that I have a prototype or pirates might try to copy it. I’ll be sure not to leave it in a restaurant where anyone might stumble upon it and leak the information to the media.

    The dance video was great–so creative!

  5. Dave says:

    I could use one of those time machines…If I control time, I don’t need money.

  6. Don’t be to hastey in condemnation of time machines. I have invented a very unique one that can be tested by anyone who wishes. It does not take you forward or backward. It only moves sidewards in time. It works so well that you do not even realized you have been over there and back.

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hi Waldo. I’ve notified DHS of your intention to sell classified technology. Nappy is sending a hit crew to your house as you read this. I suggest that you get your affairs in order or simply back up and un-post your offer to sell classified technology.

  7. tomwisk says:

    I would think they would have it designed to only go backward so they can make sure that Islamic Law is enforced. Personally I don’t want to know the future, I like surprises.

  8. The problem with time machines is that, because the Earth moves, you always end up stranded in deep space. What I want is a machine that travels through space as well. Actually through “time and relative dimensions in space”. I even know – er – who has one.

    • Jay Holmes says:

      That’s not a “problem” Matthew. As long as the mulalalalas and their thugs are the ones using the machine it’s what we call an “added value feature.”

  9. I saw that article about the time machine…or I actually saw the time machine…or I saw some mullah guy was looking for his lost time machine…or the payday loan guy was looking to repo the time machine before that guy bought another time machine and it got confusing. Time machines do that. Get things confused.
    Glad I had time to read this post – thanks for the great links!

  10. A time machine. The mullahs are slipping crack in to the science cafeteria water to speed up the nuclear experiments apparently and things are going awry. Hilarious.

    So glad y’all liked the pics! Cherry blossoms create such a montage….

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hi Emily. Your jest is not as far from reality as you might assume. Heroin use has grown at an alarming rate in Iran in the last five years. the Iranian government allowed the taliban heroin export across their border in an attempt to control the transshipping to enemies. What occurred instead was a rapidly growing domestic market.

  11. Shantnu says:

    The time machine works. I have seen it.

    You must be wearing a burkha to drive it, though. If even a millimeter of your skin is showing, the time machine will explode, killing you and your future generations.

    It allows you to travel into the future, but since you have a burkha covering every inch of your skin, you can’t see anything. But other than that, it works fine.

    Why do you people always doubt some random dude on the internet who claims to have invented a time machine? Random dudes on the Internets sometimes tell the truth, you know?

    • Jay Holmes says:

      Hi Shantnu. Well as an official “random internet dude” I have to accept your theory.

      • Shantnu says:

        Thank you sir.

        And now I must go help North Korea test a Faster Than Light spaceship (it doesn’t travel faster than light. That’s just the name of the company).

  12. […] I saw this post by Piper Bayard, I almost fell out of my chair laughing. Fridays, the end is near, and, yes, we always deserve […]

  13. Andrew says:

    I have a way for him to time travel — he could stare at the sun. He’ll always be looking 8 minutes into the past! …and born his corneas, but hey at least it’s more effective than his contraption 😛

  14. Julie Glover says:

    As to the “time machine” (which indeed does sound like a crystal ball to me), I want to know why it peters out after year 8. What if year 9 is the one they really need to know about? Say, for instance, it being the year the world finally converges on the crazies in Iran, takes over the country, and makes every single lunatic leader perform that black-and-white dance.

  15. lynnkelleyauthor says:

    Funny video about the time machine. I think the Chinese knockoff is a riot, and I love your comment about opening a can of whoop ass. That video of the optical illusion dance is awesome!

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