The End is Near (and we deserve it). . . . Nude Maid Service

A new maid service in Lubbock, Texas, offers a little sompin’ sompin’ extra for their $100/hour furniture buffing. But they do send security and emphasize that while they may be nude, customers must keep their clothes on.

It will be interesting to see if the courts say this is a “sexually oriented business” or not. Perhaps they should simply wear string bikinis from the unquestionably legal local swimming pool rather than “lingerie.” Makes all the difference, right?

Blogs and Articles in No Particular Order

The Twitterverse holds its breath as Tyler Tarver conducts the 2012 Twitter Awards. I’m honored to be nominated in the category of “The Conversationalist” for best discussions and feedback on Twitter. I would appreciate your votes and your support for Tyler at 2012 Twitter Awards: The Voting.

Dr. Steve Wiggins’ blog, Sects and Violence in the Ancient World, is one of the first I found when I joined social media, and it’s still one of my favorites. Rule Britannia. How much is enough?

Lee Child and “The Long Game”: Lessons on Success from One of America’s Favorite Authors. This came to me via NYT Best Selling Author and Awesome Lady Allison Brennan. You can find her heart-racing thrillers at her web site, Allison Brennan.

From the cheeky mom who gives us good reason to faff about on the internet, Leanne Shirtliffe. A Parenting Dictionary: 5 British Words We Need to Adopt

photo by Will King

“Ridiculously Photogenic Guy” Picture from 10k Race Goes Viral

Great post by the lovely and humorous Julie Davidoski which was Freshly Pressed this week. Go, Jules, Go! Misfortune Cookies

Congratulations to awesome blogger, Myndi Shafer, on the birth of her adorable daughter, Alice Took. Jenny Hansen guest posts at Myndi’s and expresses how most of us feel on that blessed day when we take our children home for the first time. Holy Mother of God! That Baby is Going Home with Me??!!

Jerry Pope’s Message in a Bottle Travels 4,000 Miles from Connecticut to England

Some Big Six Publishers Refuse to Sign New Contracts with Amazon I found this one via the super smart and talented literary agent, Weronika Janczuk.

Lena Corazon captured the full length SNL skit The Real Housewives of Disney. I’ve probably gone to her blog ten times to show it to my friends. It’s a hoot!

This is my friend, Amina Salah, dancing a finger cymbal solo in which she is both dancer and musician.

Hmm. Suppose people would pay $100/hour to have women clean their houses wearing belly dancing costumes?

Would you hire a skantily clad or nude maid? Would you be one?

All the best to all of you for keeping your week covered.

Piper Bayard

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33 comments on “The End is Near (and we deserve it). . . . Nude Maid Service

  1. gojulesgo says:

    Thank you so much for the shout-out, Piper!! And I don’t just mean for mentioning my new cleaning service. ;)

    I cannot WAIT to see the finger cymbal video, and the full-length Real Housewives of Disney skit – SNL is hit-or-miss, but that one was HILARIOUS!

  2. If I didn’t have so many scars and lumps and bruises, not to mention a linebacker’s physique, it might be a good way to earn some extra cash.

  3. Melissa says:

    I saw the nude house painter on Ripley’s Believe It or Not, but I didn’t jboe about this.

  4. Jane Sadek says:

    I live in Texas, so scantily clad housekeeping just comes with the territory when the mercury is rising – but no one pays me for it. :)

  5. Ryan King says:

    LOL. I wouldn’t mind it but I’m a guy. Then again, my wife wouldn’t care either as long as my son isn’t home. But I can guarantee you that occasionally she’d request a hot guy to be the maid. ;)

  6. donnagalanti says:

    I wouldnt clean a house no matter what I could wear and what I got paid! LOL. And as for a male nude maid, thats just wrong. Their “parts” just arent as pretty to look at. Now if he were in boxers, I could be swayed….

  7. Andrew says:

    Here’s what you do. Round up the most ugly, hairy, generally physically unpleasant handymen/women you can find (because we’re an equal opportunity employer). For your ads, pick a bunch of well toned models, naturally, to draw interest. It’d be a bit like the difference between how a Big Mac looks on a TV spot and how it actually looks. Then offer a basic, semi-nude cleaning service package for a relatively low price. Offer tiered packages for more money, increasing as the workers are requested to put on more layers of clothing. If you picked your workers right, you’ll wind up with a bunch of folks begging for the Parka Package. Then: Profit!

    …four years as a business major and this is what I have to show for it, haha

    • Piper Bayard says:

      ROFL. The Parka Package. I love it! Seems the Senior Set could subsidize retirement income with that one. . . . BTW, which class did you learn that in? :)

      • Andrew says:

        Marketing. Or maybe it was macroeconomics? We learned many a strange and wondrous thing about the world of economics from the Beer Economist (that was one of his actual nicknames, by the way, haha)

  8. My cleaning lady frequently appears nude around the house. Of course, she calls me “husband.”

  9. brennagrimes says:

    I’m all for adopting more British words! They always sound cooler than our words. Cheeky? I’m totally using that at work today. I might even have to break out my fake British accent.

  10. Seems to me nude housecleaning is just an invitation for caustic cleaning chemicals to meet sensitive areas. I’m much too fond of those parts of my body, so, no, I wouldn’t do it.

    I might be interested in a topless cleaning service if it featured hot guys, but forget fully nude. If you’d ever been too close to the stage when a male stripper did a fast pirouette, you’d understand why.

    Or so I heard. *coughs and slinks away smirking*

    • Piper Bayard says:

      Lol. Oh, my! I’ve never actually seen a male stripper show, but I’ll keep that tip in mind in case I should ever find myself in that situation. As for the sensitive chemicals, you have a great point. Some things just do not go well with bleach. :)

  11. tomwisk says:

    No on both. I really could use a housekeeper but naked, no way. Think of the germs. I’m no prude but too much nudity takes the mystery out of things.

  12. No, I would not hire one. I’m reminded of this picture.

  13. Hi Piper, me old mucker. A good laugh, and a bit of a British slant to this weeks round up, eh?

    I won’t be calling for the nude maid service, somehow they’re two things that just don’t go together. I don’t think I can say any more without risking to many innuendoes!

    Cheers!

  14. Amber West says:

    I, too, would be concerned about chemicals encountering jangly bits/crevices they shouldn’t. (See? I’m equal opportunity in my concern.) As far as I’m concerned, the boys (and the ladies) need a home!

    Ahem.

    Thanks for including the photogenic guy. Helps me erase the picture of naked housecleaners from my mind. Or at least add him into the picture, which makes it much more amusing.

    Have a lovely weekend, dahling!

  15. Of course, in Canada, your heating bill would also go up with nude maid service…

    Thanks for the jolly good linky love!

  16. Fab links. As for the nude maid – well, here in NZ employment discrimination’s illegal which means half the time we’d end up with Bruce Blubberguts on the job. Uh…ewwwwww!

  17. Thanks for the links. No, I don’t think I’d pay $100 an hour for a nude maid. It’s just… well it just doesn’t seem right…. or worth the money. I mean, what are you going to do, follow them from room to room watching them. Ewwwww. Perhaps I’m becoming an old fart prematurely. (Is “old fart” part of American English?) As for five words Americans might adopt from the British, I had never realized that Americans didn’t use them, except for knackered, which is kinda obviously not a US word. My novel is set in Australia, but contains one American female character. I had a female American friend read the MS just to check my character didn’t accidentally say something that was not American English. Kinda of a good rule to keep in the back of your head: if you write a hottentot (or whatever) character into your novel, get a real hottentot to read that charcacter’s dialogue.

    • Piper Bayard says:

      “Old fart” is definitely part of American English. I remember once planning to move to Australia in my youth. I read over some orientation materials I received and was quite surprised by the common words in my vocabulary that are considered rather vulgar there. Good tip about the hottentots, Americans, etc. in our own writing.

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