Tannerite. . . . Blowing Stuff Up Over Spring Break

By Piper Bayard

Farm boys blow stuff up. It’s what they do for fun when “Momma” sends them outside to play. That Chinese guy who invented gunpowder? Yep. He was a farm boy. So with almost 400 years of “down home” coursing through my son’s veins, it’s no wonder he’s taught me about napalm, rail guns, and tannerite. Tannerite is particularly fun. Check it out.

Now, let’s all own up. If people didn’t enjoy harmless explosions, Jerry Bruckheimer would be out of business.

So over Spring Break, we went to visit some people I don’t know and can’t identify on their farm in a place I could never find again in a country I’ve never been to. I only remember that one of our hostesses looked like a calorically enhanced twin to Janet Reno, and her friends were calling her “Janet.” Some people, apparently her family members, were calling her “Big Sis.” Somehow, some tannerite was delivered ahead of time at this non-existent location.

We began our fun activities by mixing the tannerite and shooting it with a 30.06 rifle. It turned one perfectly good cardboard box into a well-vented cardboard box, leaving a 28″ diameter blast through it. Well, that was a good start.

We sent out a dream wish and some kid I never met and don’t remember landed on our doorstep the next day with a few common household items. He showed us a possible way to make a bigger boom. This is the device he came up with.

Now, now. Get your minds out of the gutter.

This is two jars of tannerite, legal in all 50 states, and a few common household items that are also legal across the nation. The unknown kid took it out back by the pond that doesn’t exist at the farm I could never find again to light it and see what would happen. I recorded the resulting explosion. However, I will have to describe it to you because try as I might, and I tried for two hours at 11 p.m. last night, I couldn’t figure out how to get WordPress to talk to the video file.

Anyway, back to the fun stuff. The kid I never met lit the fuse and ran. About fifteen seconds later, we were rewarded with a small boom and a flash of incredibly bright light. It  blasted fifteen feet in diameter across the ground in every direction, while shooting a pillar upward about four feet in its center.

As it turns out, the poof of light created by those common household items wasn’t enough to ignite the very stable tannerite, though it did set the surrounding grass on fire.. This is what was left.

I know what you’re thinking. Stop that. . . .

The kid we didn’t know eventually took the tannerite out and shot it with a 30.06, ending the scientific experiments until at least next weekend. If you know anyone with a little land and a 30.06 or stronger rifle, I highly recommend you order a bit of this stuff online and play with it. It’s a hoot!

Tannerite. . . . It’s what’s for Spring Break.

What sort of fun did you have on your Spring Break?

All the best to all of you for having fun with kids you never met.

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34 comments on “Tannerite. . . . Blowing Stuff Up Over Spring Break

  1. i come here for a few laughs, and discover you teaching the fine old art of tannerite destructive techniques.. ah yes. such warm fuzzy family fun!!! for spring break, i infuriated editors, pissed off publishers, extended my vacation plans another 6 months, and watched an endless loop of “Game of Thrones” until i memorised the dialogue, and forgot that i was hanging upside down of the sofa, to which the cat commented: ‘you freak’ ….

    if i think of anyone with a 30.06, who wants to blow up stuff, i’ll send em to your son and he can teach them.. if a distinquished looking gentleman shows up by the name of Freddie… please, don’t send him back.. you can keep him

    Sir Samuel Zeus Clemons tweets at @Samuel_Clemons

    • Piper Bayard says:

      Lol. If we do send your Uncle Freddie back, we’ll make sure he doesn’t bring any tannerite or a 30.06 with him. :) Good to see you, Sammy. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. Elizabeth says:

    Boom! Boom is fun! (But only when you Boom! safely. Which apparently, y’all were doing, so yay!!!! Can you tell I was raised by a chemist?)

  3. gojulesgo says:

    LOL I love the covert nature of this post. Almost as much as I love the “calorically enhanced twin” description.

    Oh and I think you have to upload videos to YouTube and insert the link in your post, unless you pay for a WordPress upgrade!

    • Piper Bayard says:

      Ah. So that’s what it is. I would have to learn yet another form of technology and open yet another internet account of some kind. Thanks so much for the info, Jules. Glad you enjoyed the post. It’s good to see you. :)

  4. K.B. Owen says:

    Sooo, funny, Piper – good thing my kids didn’t see this post. You’re a bad influence, LOL. (and a cool mom).

    • Piper Bayard says:

      Lol. I confess. I don’t need help when it comes to corrupting my children. As for your kids, is one of them a boy about 5’9″ tall with red hair and a name I don’t remember? If so, you might want to have him check himself for ticks. There were quite a few around the pond that wasn’t there.

      Good to see you, Kathy. :)

  5. Dave says:

    Fun and educational…hard to beat that combination for spring break. So much better than playing video games.

  6. Catie Rhodes says:

    I have never done this and would totally like to. The reason I love shooting shotguns is that they turn their targets into so much shredded stuff. Tannerite looks like it would be immensely more satisfying. :D

  7. Susan Span says:

    I so cannot allow the men in my life to read this. My son already wants to come to Colorado, for the simple reason that there MIGHT be guns involved. If he sees this, I’ll come home from work to discover him online and ordering this by the pound.

    Looks like a lot of fun though. Would it be totally pathetic for me to admit I’d probably buy a ranch just to be able to play with that??

    • Piper Bayard says:

      Susan, I can’t think of any better reasons to buy a ranch. :)

      I’d be happy to take you and Tesla out to the shooting range if you like. It would be a pleasure. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

  8. tomwisk says:

    Whoooowee blowed that thing up good. Know people who probably meet at the same farm who spend May to July 4th blowing off fireworks. Why go to the town park and shmooze with a thousand strangers when you can amuse your neighbors at home. Happy fourth.

  9. LOL, Piper. I’m glad you don’t remember where this place was, I’d hate for you to go back with a bigger rifle just as another kid you don’t know turns up with a package (and no, I’m not commenting on any of your “inventions” here). I guess you’re trying to say that spring break just isn’t spring break if it doesn’t end with a bang!

    We went on vacation for spring break. Since it involved airplane rides of un-swimably wide stretches of water, I’m glad to say that explosions had nothing to do with out holiday.

    Cheers!

    • Piper Bayard says:

      I’m delighted you kept your airplanes away from your explosions, for sure. Sounds like you really got away from it all for a while. Glad you had a good one, Nigel. Good to see you. :)

  10. Y’all are high tech. We Canucks just throw an aerosol can in a firepit and run :P

  11. Ooh, explosions, what fun! This is the first I’ve heard of Tannerite, but I’m sure my pyromaniac hubby knows about it. I must ask him. Not that we’d ever buy it or explode it or anything…

  12. Big Booms! We host a 4th of July party every year, complete with mortars off the reservations. Our neighborhood lights ups like a warzone, with everyone setting off big, beautiful, blow-up-in-the-sky fireworks. Last year’s big excitement was a mortar going off in the launch tube in the driveway. Luckily, they design those things to split, not splinter. Important safety feature, no shrapnel! Also, no one hurt, whew! Did kick my adrenaline level up into the atmosphere though! Never heard of tannerite, but looks like fun! Great pics too! ;-)

    • Piper Bayard says:

      I’ll bet that mortar going off in the launch tube did get everyone’s attention, for sure. Otherwise, sounds like one hell of a party. How fun! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience. Good to see you, Serena. :)

  13. Jenny Hansen says:

    Piper, you’re a gal after my own heart…I love a good BOOM!

  14. I love to hear “Fire in the hole!” followed by BOOM. I`ll be practicing over the summer with my niece, she just got her starter – A pink BB gun.Warms my heart.

    • Piper Bayard says:

      Oh, cool! I understand. We were so excited to give our son his first .22 mag. Sounds like you have a lot to look forward to this summer. Thanks for stopping by, Emily. Good to see you. :)

  15. Vila Deuel says:

    Red Necks and their destructive toys…(sigh). ;-p … Anyway, the store I work at in Wyoming sells Tannerite. The boys/men that come in get so excited to see the Tannerite for sale. LOL. I’ve heard quite a few stories about using the tannerite to blow stuff up. For instance: Get 4 or 5 pounds of Tannerite, (6 or 7 pounds or more, depending on your explosive preferences), mix it up in a metal bucket, set an old bathtub over the bucket, shoot the bucket through the faucet or drain holes in the tub. Hopefully your a good enough marksmen to shoot the bucket and be far enough away to avoid injury when the bathtubs explodes.

  16. Julie Glover says:

    I laughed so hard! I grew up with sisters and then had sons, and it’s been a shocker to find out what natural shooters and pyromaniacs boys are. As soon as those toddlers can say it, kaboom! is in their vocabulary. I’ve learned not merely to tolerate it but to say things like, “Hey, I bet this would work better.” If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em?

  17. This was a great post. I kept LOL’ing, until the hubby had to know what I was reading. Keeping this info in my file so we can wow all the friends next time we have a shooting party out in the back 40! ~evil laugh~

    Laura Ritchie

  18. theonetheycallbyhisname says:

    but could you use tannerite as a fuse to explode more tannerite that was oh say underground to create an instant dugout or at least a start for a tunnel system.

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