Ok. I’ll just say it. I’m a Merry Christmas person. I say, “Merry Christmas.” It’s my culture.
To be clear, my religion is Baseball. My Holy Days are known as the World Series. They start in late October, and they are made more holy when the ordained priests of my order, the Yankees, are playing. I hope some day to make a pilgrimmage with my writing partner, Holmes, to The Cathedral in the Bronx to attend a ceremony in person, both for the religious experience and to write The Canter-Bronxy Tales.
The Cathedral in the Bronx at Christmas
To me, Christmas is about the Spirit of Giving. The generosity and mercy that light hope in hearts during the darkest time of the year. I know Muslims, Jews, and Wiccans who have Christmas trees and wish people Merry Christmas because to them, as to me, generosity and mercy have no religion. For us, it’s just part of our Western cultural tradition.
I find it painfully ironic that there are as many non-Christians campaigning to make Jesus ”the reason for the season” as there are Christians. So when I became embroiled in a Merry Christmas-Happy Holidays discussion at my daughter’s school the other day, it inspired me to perform my own little sociological experiment. (Watch out. She’s messing with people again.) Here’s how it went down. . . .
Five people were standing in the front office of my daughter’s middle school when the school counselor said, ”Happy Holidays.”
I smiled and returned a hearty, ”Merry Christmas.” Three people relaxed, smiled back, and returned the traditional greeting.
In a friendly, educational tone, as is appropriate at a school, the counselor informed me, “Not everyone celebrates Christmas.”
Really? Duh.
This got me to thinking. . . . If I were a member of an indigenous culture that worshipped water buffalo, and I wished Merry Christmas objectors a Happy Water Buffalo Day, would they inform me that they don’t worship water buffalo? Or would they recognize that I am blessing them with good will and the best of intentions in the manner of my people?
Little Girl wishing baby water buffalo a Happy Water Buffalo Day
To answer this question, I decided I would spend a day greeting people with religious good wishes that were not of Christian origin, just to see what they would do. There are no water buffalo in the Rockies so in honor of my Wiccan friends who have a holy day tomorrow, I went around town wishing people a Happy Solstice as I ran my errands. I didn’t mutter it. I didn’t pick and choose who I said it to. I smiled, looked everyone in the eye, and spoke with confidence, just as I would have said Merry Christmas in the middle of a tent revival. This is what I found with my limited sampling of approximately 17 people. . . .
- All but two looked at me like I was a talking frog.
- The two who didn’t were people who know me. . . . Hmm. Why weren’t they surprised?
- Most women recovered, smiled back, and said, ”Thank you,” or “You, too.”
- Men alone also recovered and said, “Thank you.”
- Men in groups continued staring as if I was a talking frog and said nothing. . . . Hmm. Waiting for an Alpha to act, I suppose.
- And the school counselor? She stopped, pointed her finger at me, smiled, and said, “Thank you.” The next day, she even returned my daughter’s Happy Solstice with a Happy Solstice of her own. (Yes, I had to bribe my daughter to do this.)
Interestingly, not one single person became offended or informed me that they do not celebrate the Solstice.
The Beautiful Darkness. The Celebration of Light. Stonehenge
This little experiment led my mind to literal meanings. (Quick, call her 12-Step sponsor. She put on her attorney hat.) Christmas originated as “Christ’s Mass” so shouldn’t it be a purely Catholic holiday? Also, “holidays” means, literally, “holy days,” so isn’t Happy Holidays just as objectionable as Merry Christmas? I mean, if I’m implying that everyone I speak to is or should be a Christian when I say Merry Christmas, which I’m not, by the way, am I not also implying that everyone does or should have holy days when I wish them Happy Holidays? You see, taken literally, Christmas is something Protestants don’t celebrate at all, and Happy Holidays is no more “culturally sensitive” than Merry Christmas.
Kind of makes you wonder what ”Merry Christmas” really means in modern society. Please help me out here. What does “Merry Christmas” mean to you? Is it a cultural expression or a religious one?
For extra credit, I’m challenging you brave readers to walk through your town today wishing people a Happy Solstice, since the 21st is, after all, the Winter Solstice. In fact, it’s not just the Solstice, it’s the Solstice with a full lunar eclipse. (Click here for info.) Then, please let me know what you discover about the people around you and how they respond to your warm wishes of the season.
Oh, . . . And I learned one more thing with my little experiment. My son might actually be able to die of embarrassment because of things his mother does in public. (Nope. Couldn’t bribe him.) 
If you’d like a simple way to celebrate the Spirit of Giving, Andi, who lost her home in the Four Mile Canyon fire in Boulder in September, is asking for Christmas cards for her little dog, Nellie, to cheer them on their journey through their post-apocalyptic world. Andi writes about The Poetry of Loss at her blog, Burning Down the House. To send a card to Nellie and Andi, please address it to Princess Nellie; c/o Chautauqua Main Office; 900 Baseline Road; Boulder, CO 80302.
All the best to all of you for a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, Happy Solstice, a Peaceful, Joyful Season, or just a really nice day.
Piper Bayard–The Pale Writer of the Apocalypse
“You only have to do one thing to be friends with me. Be nice.” — Holmes
To be merry or not to be merry: that is the question. Whether ’tis jollier in the mind to enjoy the presents and carols of outrageous fortune…
Love your comment. Thanks for stopping by.
I’m in! It will be “Happy Solstice” to everyone today! For me, “Merry Christmas” is a cultural thing (though I like to shake it up with the British “Happy Christmas” sometimes.) And if it comes to that, since “holidays” truly means “Holy Days”, we could figure out what Holy Day every day was (since every day is some Saint’s Day) and wish everyone a different ‘something day’ daily. I live in Boulder and watched the Four Mile Canyon start – you can be sure I’ll be sending a card to Andi and Nelli.
Hi Seasweetie. Thanks for your comment. I like that “Happy Christmas” shake up idea. I think I’ll try that one for a day just to see if anyone treats me differently. I’ll do it one day with an American accent and one day with a British accent to see if there’s any difference there, too. Thanks, too, for your support for Andi and Nellie. You rock. Happy Christmas to you!
I do feel like “Merry Christmas” is more cultural than religious. This was a smart blog on the concept! Good reading, thanks!
Hi Ellie. Thanks for your vote. That makes three for cultural. Four, if you count me. Thanks, too for the compliment. Merry Christmas.
Rofl, I loved this post! Very nice experiment ^_^
And you have a good point about “holidays”. I think most people just don’t think about that.
I’m not religious myself, but I love Christmas. To me it has no religious connotations at all – it’s just the commercial (and social) part I like. I like saying “Happy holidays” to people (although we say “fijne feestdagen”, which literally translated means “happy party days” :p). I like Christmas eve (my mom and brother and I always organize a special event, like going to a theater or museum or something of the like), and I like organizing Christmas dinners. I have a Christmas days the day after Sinterklaas (a Dutch holiday), and I adore Christmas songs on the radio.
That’s what “Merry Christmas” means to me, wishing other people the same joy as I experience during Christmas.
I wish I could say “Happy Solstice” to people, but alas, I would have to say “fijne midwinter”, I think people wouldn’t even know it’s related to anything Wicca :p. Although I guess I’m just making excuses now because I am a little too shy to do such a thing, I think >_>.
…Fijne midwinter, Piper :p Thanks for the blog, I enjoyed reading it!
Hi Manon. I love hearing what folks do in other countries. That’s so cool. I was a bit shy about the Happy Solstice thing myself, but I figured, wth? These people don’t buy my groceries so who cares if they think I’m odd? I find that once I start putting myself out there, and nothing bad happens, it gets easier, and it’s always amusing. Thanks for stopping by.
And a Fijne Midwinter to you, as well.
The funniest thing I learned lately is that I always thought that in the US, you had two Christmas days as well. We have the first and second day of Christmas, here… And only last week I learned that that’s not the case for you guys and it makes me feel sad for you! *lol* Guess we’re lucky!
And you’re right about the wth part. I suppose we all just care too much about what others are thinking of us! And it’s fun to do anyway! So why not. ^_^
Yea! That’s the spirit, Manon. I think I need to start celebrating the Solstice for reals so that I can have two days of Christmas, too.
Happy Winterval!
Indeed! Happy Winterval. Thanks for stopping by.
lol-that is all…
Lmao. Thanks for the video.
Be aware, readers, this is Rated R.
Merry Solstice. This is a great time of year for me. Not religious, but a fun time. I usually say “Happy Holidays” just because there are so many other people celebrating this time of year besides Christians. Thanks for the thoughtful post.
Hi Charles. Thanks for stopping by, and Merry Solstice to you, as well. Hope you’re having a great holiday season.
I deliberately say “Merry Christmas” because that’s what I celebrate. An exception: if I’m talking to someone that I know does not celebrate Christmas, I’m likely to wish them a happy whatever-it-is-they-do-celebrate. For example, my Jewish friends get a Happy Hanukkah.
For the record: I’ve never had anyone get offended if I wished them something bizzare and different either, and I do think it’s a little touchy of people to be offended by someone wishing them a happy whatever-it-is-the-speaker-observes. I’ve had wiccans wish me a Happy Samhain and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
I’m with you. I think people are working very hard to be offended if literal meanings are more important to them that the good will behind the words. Thanks for stopping by.
Awesomely funny post! You rock. I do crazy social experiments too. LOL Love when I find a kindred in that.
I find it so bizarre how picky we are about this. Just lighten up people. Let everyone bestow their blessings in the way that is culturally and spiritually relevant to them. Take it with the intended grace and love it was given and move on.
Is it really in the spirit of Christmas, Solstice, Hanukkah, Qwanza or whatever to get angry and offended when someone wishes you the wrong holiday greeting? Come on people! If you need something to get all fluffed about, there are more pressing issues from which to choose.
Just have a good winter dang it!
Well said. No holiday is an excuse to take oneself so seriously as to be offended by good will, regardless of how it’s packaged. Thanks for your comment.
I don’t understand why people get so offended at the stupidest things. I think they act offended just to be a-holes…Seriously, what part of Merry Christmas is offensive? And if it does offend you, why get bent out of shape about it?
Good post Piper, it had me laughing for sure, especially the comments!
Hi Peter. I think some people must carry their whole identity in the chip on their shoulder. Thanks for stopping by.
Great post
i tend to stick with Happy New Year because most cultures celebrate a new year
Happy New Year is always safe. I remember how cool it was at Y2K when it seemed like the whole world paused for a moment to party, probably mostly because their computers didn’t crash. Thanks for stopping by.
Hey, Piper – so the “Happy Solstice” experiment was interesting – I uses it on the phone with financial and realty people, and in person at the market – on the phone, I received a combination of pauses, indrawn breaths, and dead silence. In person, I only get puzzled looks and “Merry Christmas” in return. It was fun though!
Cool! Thanks so much for joining in the fun.
And the phone reactions are a wonderful new category. Perhaps next year I’ll just make up a fake word, like “pernifornicus” or something like that. Then I’ll speak in a Swedish accent and wish people a Merry Pernifornicus just to see what they do. All the best.
While I am a Christian & generally say “Merry Christmas”, it does NOT have a religious connotation. I celebrate the birth & death of Christ throughout the year, so Christmas doesn’t have an ADDED specialness about it to me. I do love, however, the sense of community it brings about. I tend to mix in a few “Happy Holidays” as well, since I usually start saying it around Thanksgiving, it does cover several holidays. I am totally with all of you in saying “LIGHTEN UP PEOPLE!”, to those who live in search of something to be offended by. Ugh. They make me tired! Very sad lives they lead. LOVE your blog, Piper! Happiest, merriest , wintery holidays to you all!
Hi Sheila. Here, here! Lighten up people! Thanks for the compliment, and thanks for stopping by. Merry Christmas.
One of my good friends and her family celebrate Solstice. We had fun explaining to another friend who was clueless about it just how many “Christmas” traditions had nothing to do with the early Christian church.
As to me, if someone wants to wish me a happy day for whatever reason, I’ll wish it right back to them. The more happiness in this world, the better!
In fact, I’d like to wish everyone a happy “Duct tape your kids and throw them in a closet so you can get things done” day!
-TG
@techsurgeons
Lmao! I think I’ll celebrate Happy Duct Tape Day tomorrow, in fact. Thanks for stopping by. Happy “Turn off all the cell phones so the boss can’t find you” Day! You guys rock!
I love your experiment, so funny. I am not religious but I say Merry Christmas and I don’t get offended or upset at whichever greeting people choose to use. The only complaint I have over the MC/HH debate is that it is so annoying and I feel like it takes away from the spirit of the season. Everyone just needs to enjoy the holidays however they want and be happy that someone else wants to wish them a merry/happy/cheerful day.
Well stated. I’m with you. The debate, itself, is the most annoying part. Thanks for stopping by.
Love this post! Yes, I hate feeling like I’m walking on eggshells just for trying to share my happiness with people. I have no problem with people having a different religious background, and so, I would have no problem with someone wishing me a different greeting in return. I’d give them a genuine smile and say “Thanks!” (Unless they’d wished me Happy Human Sacrifice Day or something…that I’d probably have a problem with.)
Thanks for the great experiment!
Hi Jami. Good point about the Happy Human Sacrifice Day. I’m thinking things like Happy Food Poisoning Day or Happy Tax Audit Day wouldn’t give me the warm fuzzies, either. Thanks for stopping by.
[...] it comes to holiday greetings, people generally welcome anything they perceive as the equivalent of Happy Water Buffalo Day. I think next year, I’ll expand on that experiment by wishing people a Happy Prestidigitation. [...]
Happy eat too much, spend too much, drink too much and worry too much about being politically correct -day. Unbriddled consumerism is the only god we pray to these days and Walmart will take your money whether you pig-out in the name of Jesus, Santa, Water buffalo or the lint in your own belly button. Merry whatever the hell and Pass me another butter tart!
Lol. It’s all too true. Happy butter tart day.